Vol. 46 No. 22 · 21 November 2024
Poem

[          ]

Jorie Graham

426 words

If I bring this voice
If I came back
again when I
come back
again if again it is
possible required with
this voice still this voice so narrow its
passage still un
trustworthy, too deep the
request, too slippery the
laddering of –
what was the tongue –
cold – arrowing – may it not
be English – if they invite
me back – some morning
like this
after history
if they drag me
back some morning
like this one
the massacre still hot
in the field
the flashy glinting win again of
language over
shriek call whine click
over growl chit cough bray – sonar – short and long
frequency – still
hot no one around to cry
out to will I
know enough then to
sing instead – sing! – and the right
song the surprising one full of
forgiveness good-
natured among the many
shrieks radiant taking its cue from
some other breed if I
come back pulled back not in-
complete but in need
of further
instruction – this species
having gone as far
as it could, too far –
fleshed out, flushed out, if
by the specialists sent
again into this
battle, still as ill-
equipped no
doubt, on my own time, not even old enough
to qualify, nasty stuff this being, this
thread yanked down
again & thrust
into the cloth the stuff this in-
flicting repair, if
asked again to be
then how know
not to mis-
take again but to
sing, not knowing why,
and loud, unwarped, oblivious, I
am, I am not – and if there is
spectacle again – could there really be spectacle
again – oh – to
carry in the marrow of
the return the trace of touch of
origin of exodus of
finally moving as if direction
did not exist
through the once again
given,
driven, sold down into in-
carnation – there
is a gold to
blood if you look
at enough of it
spilt in
dawn sun
you shall feel it
start flowing
in you again it is warming it enters your head,
suddens you,
instances you, there must be
an easier way to say this,
night vision
right out to
your wings – tips splayed – air in – they’re
giving you the
beak the claws the colour-free x-ray
eyes with which
to break in with which to
begin creating instantly from
above again hunger, terror, and then
drawing out for you the night-
shiny shaking
target from its hiding
place and it is
then the song is being put
into you
faster
than you
can come back alive
for it – it is already
in your mouth
it is

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