here. Have been for centuries. No, longer. Everything already has
been. It’s not a reasonable place, this continuum between us, and yet
here again I put the olive trees in, turn the whole hill-sweeping grove down, its
mile-long headfuls of leaves upswept so the whole valley shivers its windy silvers,
watery … A strange heat is upon us. Again. That was you thinking that. I suggested it.
Maybe the wind did. We both put in the horizon line now, the great loneliness, its
grip, chaos recessed but still there. After finitude you shall keep coming towards me
it whines, whitish with non-disappearance. We feel the same about this. The same
what? We feel is there more. That’s the default. We want to live with the unknown in
front of us. Receding, always receding. A vanishing moving over it all. A sleepy
vacancy. It’s the sky, yes, but also this thinking. As from the start, again, here I am,
a mind alone in the fields. The sheep riding and falling the slants of earth. The
sleepiness a no-good god come to assume we are halfwits, tending, sleepy, the
animals gurgling and trampling, thistle-choked, stinging. A dove on a stone. No sky
to speak of, the god lingers, it wants to retire, it thinks this is endgame, what
could we be – mist about to dry off, light about to wipe a wall for no reason, that
random. This must have been way BC. Or is it 1944. Surely in 2044 we shall be
standing in the field again, tending, waiting to surprise the god who thinks he knows
what he’s made. Well no. He does not know. We might be a small cavity but it
guards a vast hungry – how bad does that hurt you, fancy maker – you have no idea
what we turned our back on to come be in this field of earth and tend – yes tend –
these flocks of minutes, whispering till the timelessness in us is wrung dry and we
are heavied with endgame. Have I mentioned the soul. How we know you hustled
that in, staining all this flesh with it, rubbing and swirling it all over inside with
your god-cloth. Rinse. Repeat. Get this – here with this staff which soon I shall turn
into a pen again – brilliantly negligent, diligent, inside all this self truly formless – I
hear the laughter of the irrigation ditch I’ve made, I see the dry field blonde-up and
green, day smacks its lips, they are back, the inventors, they are going to do it
again, sprinkle-seed, joker rain coming to loosen it all. How many lives will we be
given, how many will we trade in for this – it comes in bushels, grams, inches, notes,
crows watch over it all as they always have, come back from the end of time to caw
it into its redo again. Cherish us. Will not stop. Nothing to show for it but doing. The
flock runs across as the dog chases and I walk slowly. I admire what I own what I am
and I think the night is nothing, the stars click their ascent, I feel it rise in me, the
word, I feel the skull beneath this skin, I feel the skin slick and shine and hide the
skull and it is from there that it rises now, I taste it before I say it, this song.
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