Old Boy
Our lesson is really idiotic today,
as if Mr Ray has forgotten
everything he ever knew
about the Reformation
and is making it up as he goes along.
I feel like pointing out
where he’s going astray,
but I’m frightened he’ll hold up
some of my grey hair
and accuse me of cheating.
How embarrassing
if I turned out to be wrong after all
and Mr Ray was right. Luckily,
I’m in the top class
and come top easily, without trying,
the way it should be.
I could do better
in the written answer test,
but everyone looks up to me
because I’ve been round the world
and have my own wife and motorbike.
I’m wearing my old school scarf
that I thought was lost for ever.
Brown and magenta quarters,
the smartest colours in the world.
It was round my neck all the time.
Guilt
A funny thing about my old headmaster
when he caught me in bed with another boy,
he wanted to know if it got stiff when I thought about it,
or only when I played with someone else’s.
I didn’t want to get into any more trouble,
so I told him it seemed to get stiff of its own accord.
Euston
One minute left to go. What shall we do?
I know. Let’s cry. Let’s scream. Let’s tear down
the station with our bare hands.
Let’s scatter it to the four winds.
The Accident
The cricket ball lingered an eternity
in the patch of blue sky
before returning eventually to earth.
I was standing with outstretched arms
when the full force of the future
hit me in the mouth.
Last Goodbyes
On the last day of the holidays
we are dying men,
remembering our lost youth
in the rhododendron trees.
We say goodbye to the henhouse,
the potting shed, the flat roof,
the island with a drawbridge.
We have our last go on the swing
with the table underneath
for launching ourselves off into space.
We swing in a great circle,
pushing ourselves away from the tree
with our feet, till we spin
giddily back to the table again –
all afternoon, till it is time to go.
On the last day of the holidays
we stand completely still,
waiting for the taxi to come,
remembering our lost youth
in the rhododendron trees.
A Blockage
Can you write a letter
saying I don’t have to have brawn?
You can see the bristles in it
and pieces of bone.
And can you write a letter
saying when you are coming down?
If you write on Monday
I’ll get it on Tuesday
and can use the envelope
to smuggle it out of the dining room.
After supper on Tuesdays
there is a big queue for the lavatories.
Last week there was a blockage
and all the brawn was found
stuck together. When you come down
can we go and see the model village?
A Dam
My mother calls my name,
a familiar, two-note sound
that carries across the fields
and finds me here,
kneeling beside a stream,
my arms plunged up to the elbows in mud.
I make my way back to the house
and try to explain
what I’ve been doing all this time
so far away from home.
‘Making dams?’ she will ask.
‘Or making poems about making dams?’
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