Penny McCarthy lives in south-east London.
Shall I batter the cat, and then stew it, thus turning the cru to the cuit? And when I am had up for cru- elty, plead it was only écrit?
Read anywhere with the London Review of Books app, available now from the App Store for Apple devices, Google Play for Android devices and Amazon for your Kindle Fire.
For highlights from the latest issue, our archive and the blog, as well as news, events and exclusive promotions.