Press propaganda before the Leveson report came out warned darkly that a statutory press scrutiny body would herald a return to a censorship regime that expired in 1695. The Telegraph and others insinuated that in that year newspaper publishers, tireless in their defence of free speech, finally won out against an overweening state.

One can only imagine what thoughts may have passed through the Queen’s mind at breakfast this morning as she digested the front page of the Sun along with her bread and dripping. Most days she no doubt passes it across the breakfast table to her husband for page 3 while she gets her teeth into the Racing Post, but one fancies that, if for only a moment, the royal gaze fell on snaps of her grandson plastered – geddit?! – all over the front of the Current Bun. Catching a royal at it, in flagrante, in a naked – and here comes a word only ever used in red-top-land – romp, in the sort of royal flush that falls to hacks but rarely. It aligns all the bananas in the fruit machine, a feat pulled off in once-in-a-lifetime headlines like Gordon Ramsay’s ‘Naked Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead in a Badger Hole in Wales’, or the Scottish football writers’ dream, ‘Super Callie Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious’.

A day at the Leveson Inquiry, as tweeted by @Diski Although I have an old-lady crush on Lord Leveson I do think he should say 'good morning' to start the day. 'Unspoken understanding = science fiction' Actually science fiction is a human being who doesn't know about unspoken understandings #leveson How to spend my day? Watch the #leveson inquiry or read Mrs George Osborne's new novel: Park Lane 'One address, two very different worlds' Now that's a novel concept. Where do you get your ideas from, Mrs Osborne? Especially adore Leveson because one can get so much private thinking done while he chooses each precise phrase with glacial lack of hurry. And his Lordship is so considerate to the help. Where can I apply to be his shorthand writer so he can give me a break? #gratefulforanycrumb Will sign off all communications in future with DOLL: Dote On Lord Leveson

I'm not sure this is more urgent than the destruction of the NHS, or the latest recession (remember sherbet dips at primary school? It makes it hard to quail at the notion of the double dip), but I couldn't take my eyes off this week's magnates and moguls parade at the Leveson Inquiry.