This Be the Pukka Verse
Daljit Nagra, 3 December 2009
“... Ah the Raj! Our mother-incarnateVictoria Imperatrix rules the sceptredsphere as she oversees legions of maiden‘fishing fleets’ breaking the wavesfor the love of a ‘heaven-born’ Etonian!Smoke from cheroots, fêtes on lawns,dances by moonlight at Alice in Wonderland –no the viceroy – the viceroy’s ball!Lock, stock and bobbing along onpalanquins to gothic verandahs where dawnHimalayas through Poobong-mist,the 12-bore or swagger stick topi-and-khakibobbery shikar, Tally ho! for the boarsin a dead-leaf hush and by Amritsarwhat a bang!bang! bagging the flamiest tiger!Jackals, panthers, leopards, blackbucksand swanny bustards, pig-sticking, Kipling,Tatler, Tollygunge, High Jinks and howdahsfor mansion-whacking banks, and the bassoprofundo of evensong, frog song, poppy pods,housey-housey and hammocks under the Milky Way …Tromping home trumps – here come the cummerbundsahibs tipsy with stiff upper lipsfor burra pegs of brandy pawnee,pink gin and the Jaldi punkawallaaahhhh!on six-meal days with tiffin and peacocksand humps and tongue and the croquet and poloand yaboos, oh Ootacamund, and the sabre-curved moustachios twirling for octoroonspanting in gunna-green fields and ayahsakimbo and breathless zenanas behindbazaars where the nautch and the sun never setswhen mango’s the bride-bed of lingam-light,in a jolly good land overflowing with silk andspice and all the gems of the earth! Erdarling, it’s not quiiite the koh-i-noorbut would you … (on a train that’s steamingand hooting on time through a tunnel) Ooo darlinga diamond! You make me feel so alive ... ”