The Little Island that Could
Michael Hofmann
Brexit – silly, sappy, snappy word – is not a fact, not an event. It’s a condition. It’s the new weather. Brexitosis is what it is. One would rather just groan, or scream, or swear, or feel seasick about the whole thing. All we know is there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s in the future, and it’s in the past, it’s both something that happened yonks ago (maybe hard feelings left over from 1066, or the Field of the Cloth of Gold, or Malplaquet), and something that is promised still to happen. Hence our peculiar helplessness and strickenness. You can’t fix it in the past, and you can’t fix it in the future. It’s like coming round after an operation – when they took out the wrong organ, and then went and left some of their ironmongery in you, for good measure – and swearing, not like a trooper (I don’t think troopers even swear), but like a patient.
None of the major players is having a good Brexit. (As indeed there is no good Brexit. The underwhelming Corbyn now scores worse than May, which takes some doing. Or in his case, no doing.) Only the experts and the commentators. We live for the cartoons, because we’re living in a cartoon. Everything is one toilet, one stinking corpse, one unending Zeno-esque funeral pageant for one undead ghoul in leopardskin fuck-me pumps on the cliffs of Dover. If the country had any sense, it would put itself under the command of Colonel Steve Bell.
The British – or rather the English – the clever old English have devised a Sonderweg of their very own. Their shot at ‘separate development’. We have Limey exceptionalism. Capitalism in one country. The little island that could. We – they, we, you, who knows – can look forward to a future of dandelion and burdock, Tunnocks wafers, salt and vinegar crisps, sherbet fountains. Bovril. Camp coffee. Moth-eaten sweaters. A hundred and one ways with a parsnip. But the morale, the spirit, the nation! Magnifique!
The British de-accessioning that began globally soon after the First World War continues. Once, it was an external process, now it is internal. It’s a galloping, seemingly unstoppable condition. We’re not giving away far-flung possessions any more, not de-accessioning, we’re sticking fingers in our eyes, ripping open our mouths, pulling off our ears and our genitals, giving away fingers and toes, arms and legs, heads, trunks. Perhaps this will cost them – us, you – Scotland and the North of Ireland. The car industry, if there is one. Pharmaceuticals. Financial ‘services’. The Scilly Isles. The Isle of Man. Cornwall. Wales. England is rumping itself, it’s done it before, it will be Joseph of Arimathea’s mystical fortress of Tintagel, a little pocket in the Forest of Dean (all hail, great shade of Dennis Potter) or in the marshes of Ely (salaam, Boadicea). Rutland.
If it’s vassalage they – we, you – ’re afraid of, then I can offer you the choice between the American aircraft carrier of yore, or a Chinese artificial island founded on slow-release poison. Vape your chlorinated chicken and then go frack in your garden. Says Voltaire. Meanwhile, little specialisms flake away to abroad, areas of tremendous expertise, gain-bringing or future-oriented collaborations, things of immense subtlety and delicacy, established by decades of thought, imagination and law, all gone or going. What do they – we, you – think will be left? Inward investment? Here? Don’t make me laugh.
I’m German. I came to England in 1961 and grew up here. Apart from two years in America, my entire education and upbringing was here, twelve years at school, six years at university. Then freelancing in London, since the 1980s. Does that make me what – a dreamer? DACA? Or just persona non grata? ‘Der hässlische Deutsche’ is an expression from the First World War, the ugly German; well, thanks for showing me the ugly Englishman. Nice of you. I don’t want to special plead. I don’t want anything for myself that isn’t extended to a Polish builder, a Bulgarian student, a Danish nurse, a Portuguese web designer. If it’s no go for them, it’s no go for me either.
The EU is not so much about trade – though it is that as well – as it is about freedom and peace. An extension of ‘we’, not a curtailing of it. Solidarity. Common purpose. Of a region. Are we – you, they, we – so different? So incomparably better? It’s about being a force for good in the world, a place slightly less rivalrous, less unfair, less short-sighted, less bristling with arms, less overrun by special interests than the places around it. In its weakness is its strength. Its divergence is its coherence.
At best, at very best, Brexit is a perfect irrelevance. Either it has nothing to do with our – their, your – actual problems, or it will make them worse. Austerity, inequality, lack of foresight, lack of common purpose, democratic accountability. Our difficulties are planetary and grave; for a nation to claim it has – or in Britain’s case, is – the answer, is simply dishonest. A cage or a card or a wall is not the point. Do you trust the Home Office not to cock this up as well? Take a bow, Baron Windrush. Gag on your nationhood app, now free to Android users. The world is converging. It is mixing, has mixed, and will continue to mix. This isn’t a great time for nation states. It’s hard to think of one that’s doing well. Not even Canada. Maybe Ireland? Maybe New Zealand?
The standards, laws, rights, protections and improvements of the last forty years have come from Europe. Whence the strange English faith in the selfless probity, wisdom and insightfulness of their ruling class? What’s this fantasy about being on the outside and retaining one’s influence and one’s freedom to act independently? With one flat-topped aircraft-carrier. So coolly unattached and so desirable, and always nyet? The world needs more internationalism, not less. More co-operation, not less. Remember the ozone hole? Something fixed it, possibly. We fixed it. Now the oceans are full of plastic. Our chemicals are in the air and soil and ground water everywhere.
As a species, we are a record success. To the detriment of all other species, and our own. A few billionaires – 26 of them – own half of everything. (They’ll be wanting a species of their own before long, all to themselves.) The frogs are full of progesterone. Somewhere, everywhere, there is the last this, the last that. Before long, the last naturalist. Almost every country one can think of is being led in exactly the wrong direction by exactly the wrong people. It may not be unprecedented, but it certainly feels unprecedented. Unpresidented. Brazil? Italy? Poland? Russia? Turkey? Australia? India? The Philippines? The great (small) unmentionable? I could go on.
Brexit is mean and stupid. It started off as a very few people’s practical joke at, they say, the LSE, was turned into a conspiracy by a cabal of subsequently thoroughly discredited (and some of them never credited in the first place) politicians with their hands at each other’s throats, then became a locked-in nightmare for an entire country and area of the globe. Worldwide, who else apart from Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin and the late Steve Bannon thinks it’s a good idea? Shouldn’t that worry you – them, us? Have your misanthropic Brexit, and then – what – a tourist industry?
A mendacious faux patriotism has been promoted: now it’s the scoundrel’s first port of call. It isn’t compatible with English friendliness abroad or solidarity at home. Is Brexit going to happen in some soft form, in some mild way – or ‘be delivered’, in Mayspeak – on 29 March, or later, after some bitterly contested picayune postponement, and we – you, they, we – say, ‘it’s all right, we don’t really mean it, we still kind of like you’? I don’t think so. What would be the point of such an unassertive, doesn’t-matter-anyway kind of assertion? Why not bring on the full English? ‘It’s not,’ as America’s last president used to say (an expression sounding now desperate in its pathos and utter goneness: heartbreaking), ‘who we’ – you, they – ‘are.’
Comments
It's going to be interesting in a way it hasn't been since the 17th century. Maybe interesting is not the word. England is going to look into its soul. Like other souls, it's a mixed bag, but it needs looking at.
Good luck and farewell and don't take it out on the Scots, Irish, usual suspects.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2019/feb/07/steve-bell-on-jeremy-corbyns-brexit-offer-to-theresa-may-cartoon?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
"who else apart from Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin and the late Steve Bannon thinks it’s a good idea?"
I am unaware that Putin ever thought or said that brexit is a good idea.
Please provide some support for your statement.
https://www.theneweuropean.co.uk/top-stories/good-news-theresa-may-has-a-backer-for-her-brexit-deal-bad-news-it-is-vladimir-putin-1-5826720
Brexit was a mistake for Britain in spite of all that, but the EU is not some sort of Utopia. It's just a way for the global rich to get globally richer.
Brexit is part of a hideous right-wing nationalist racist wave that is sweeping across the world, it will be the new fascism if we let it. The problems of inequality and oppression are far better dealt with inside supranational institutions like the EU, divided we will be defeated.
The EU is very far from perfect, but at the moment it’s worth fighting for.
Apart from the inane catchphrase, on what basis do you say that? Given that the EU has stymied the left-wing repeatedly and allows genuinely fascistic leaders in Hungary and Poland to do what they like, not to mention paying the Islamofascists in Turkey to trap refugees within their borders? Why would a globalist free trade organisation care about inequality and oppression? Do the World Bank and IMF tackle the problem of inequality? Has NAFTA limited oppression?
You aren't fighting for anything, you're just fighting against ... not even against xenophobia, but a loose metonym for xenophobia.
The EU as an institution is not to blame for the shit that has been going down recently, that’s happened for reasons we probably agree with which in the end boil down to inequality; but what do you think would have happened if it hadn’t existed? If anything, the nationalist populism that has swept Europe would have been worse as, instead of attacking the EU, the forces of dissension sought to revive old nationalist grievances that they claim as part of their national stories - can’t you just imagine, if there had been no EEC, Farage leading an English nationalist party seeking the break-up of the UK and sowing hostility towards the Scots and Welsh? As there is so much resentment felt towards Germany, without the EU the first thing it would have to do is build a big army; that never ends well.
You complain about the EU allowing genuinely fascistic leaders in Hungary and Poland to do what they like; I ask again, what do you think would have happened in those countries if the EU hadn’t been around to impose the checks it did? Ask the persecuted communities there whether or not they are glad they are in the EU, you will only get one reply.
The EU is a lot more than just a globalist free trade organization, but how could it avoid being in part such a creature when globalist free trade rules the world? Even so, it was set up by people who above all wanted to stop another war, who wanted us to come together in cooperation. Most importantly, though, it is democratic; in the end, every official owes their position, at the start of the chain, to someone appointed by an elected official. Change the politics of Europe in the right direction and the EU will shift, it is then that our unity will matter.
As for what I’m fighting for, I suspect it’s fairly similar to what you are - it’s a matter of tactics. You seem to think we can only come together once we have all come apart, everything I’ve learnt from history and life tells me you are profoundly wrong.
The EU as an institution is not to blame for the shit that has been going down recently, that’s happened for reasons we probably agree with which in the end boil down to inequality; but what do you think would have happened if it hadn’t existed? If anything, the nationalist populism that has swept Europe would have been worse as, instead of attacking the EU, the forces of dissension sought to revive old nationalist grievances that they claim as part of their national stories - can’t you just imagine, if there had been no EEC, Farage leading an English nationalist party seeking the break-up of the UK and sowing hostility towards the Scots and Welsh? As there is so much resentment felt towards Germany, without the EU the first thing it would have to do is build a big army; that never ends well.
You complain about the EU allowing genuinely fascistic leaders in Hungary and Poland to do what they like; I ask again, what do you think would have happened in those countries if the EU hadn’t been around to impose the checks it did? Ask the persecuted communities there whether or not they are glad they are in the EU, you will only get one reply.
The EU is a lot more than just a globalist free trade organization, but how could it avoid being in part such a creature when globalist free trade rules the world? Even so, it was set up by people who above all wanted to stop another war, who wanted us to come together in cooperation. Most importantly, though, it is democratic; in the end, every official owes their position, at the start of the chain, to someone appointed by an elected official. Change the politics of Europe in the right direction and the EU will shift, it is then that our unity will matter.
As for what I’m fighting for, I suspect it’s fairly similar to what you are - it’s a matter of tactics. You seem to think we can only come together once we have all come apart, everything I’ve learnt from history and life tells me you are profoundly wrong.
quote
let them decide this for themselves, this is none of our business, or else they might accuse us of wrongdoing again
endquote
and here is the fuller context of Putin's answer to the question:
quote
How will Brexit impact us? The impact will be minimal, but it will affect the entire European economy and the global economy, as well. Therefore, it will affect us indirectly.
Are we interested in restoring full relations with the United Kingdom or not? Yes, we are interested; besides, in my opinion, the United Kingdom, primarily its business community, is also interested in this.
We know the British work in our country – fairly actively, I can tell you. Flagships of the British economy like British Petroleum, one of the key shareholders in our leading oil and gas company, Rosneft, – they are working here, and continue to do so, actively operating in our market, and they want to continue, and not just them.
Now, in connection with Brexit – if this eventually goes through to the end, and, by the way, I understand the position of the Prime Minister, she is fighting for Brexit (let them decide this for themselves, this is none of our business, or else they might accuse us of wrongdoing again), but the referendum did take place. So what can she do?
She must implement the will of the people as expressed in the referendum, or that is no referendum at all. Some didn’t like it – and the whole thing goes around and around. Is this democracy? I wonder how the critics of this process will assess the situation if and when some spit on this Brexit deal and carry out all these events again until they satisfy someone.
So what is the point of holding a referendum and what is the meaning of direct democracy? Well, anyway, this is their concern, never mind. But, they are interested in our market, interested in direct partnerships. We did not discuss this with the prime minister, but we discussed it with our colleagues and friends; we have many in Britain, especially among the business people.
. . .
The same applies to Britain: Brexit got the majority vote – but no one wants to implement it. What are they refusing to recognise? The referendum results. Democratic procedures are being dropped out of the equation, and destroyed; their value is being destroyed. That is what is happening there. This is a serious process. I have pointed out that Western analysts are already discussing this matter, both in the States, by the way, and in Britain. We must keep this in mind. But whatever happens, we still need to build bilateral relations. We are willing to. As soon as possible. As soon as the other side is ready, we will do this.
Advanced economies are no longer delivering acceptable quality of life to increasing proportions of the population. Different nations have different outlets for this discontent in already existing anti establishment movements but there is a common thread of a strong desire for change to create a fairer society. That the majority of liberal bourgeois commentators are unable to recognise this is staggering.
The recent letter to the Guardian by Kundera and others was staggering in it's hubris and the complete failure to acknowledge any legitimate grievances with the current European economy.For better or worse it feels like we are on the verge of societal renewal and I suspect the names under that ridiculous letter will be will soon be seen as relics of another age, as alien to contemporary society as Stefan Zweig and Virginia Woolf were to the 1960s.
As for the EU being a "peace project" the question has to be who's peace? We know for sure the answer excludes Serbs, Ukrainians, Yemenis, Iraqis, Libyans and Syrians. It excludes the French fiefdoms of Chad, Mauritania, Niger, Mali and Burkina Faso. And now it also apparently excludes Venezuela with the EU rallying to their master's most recent regime change call.
Very complicated to know whether in or out is best. Could be either. You'd have to really good to know that.
However, simple test - Farage, Johnson, Mogg.
Yes?
Or no?
I believe that Westminster is simpler to reform than the EU bureaucracy so to me the logical thing to do is leave the EU and focus on electing a progressive government to Westminster.
The EU died as project when they decided to collectively punish the Greek people to protect French and German banks.
NB Michael Hofmann, I wasn’t aware the English had colonised our confectionery as well. Tunnocks wafers are Scottish, and we’ve got the dental health to prove it.
Far more important than such airy theoretical posturing is the reality of what is actually happening now. The referendum led to a massive and ongoing rise in hate crime, and great fear and loathing in non-British EU citizens like Michael Hofmann who live here. This seems irrelevant to you, I can only assume that you are not personally effected.
Since the referendum my elder daughter has numerous times (in London!) been told to go back where she came from (which, strictly speaking, is St. Mary’s Paddington, birthplace of two future British monarchs, you can’t get more English - this has never happened to her before). That instruction, and similar vitriol, are now the insults of choice to anyone their twisted minds think doesn’t belong here, they are now heard the whole time in circumstances where they seldom were before; and this upsurge of hate is not some accidental side effect, racism and xenophobia were at the heart of the Leave campaign.
So, I’d really like to know how you can support something which so empowers racists and is causing such misery to so many people?
As for the fractional increase in hate crimes: the blame surely falls on the media, which fixates on and gives a platform to the jingoists. Not the people who simply don't want to be part of a particular trade organisation on the whole, despite its (airy, theoretical) benefits to internationalism.
The rise in hate crimes is not a mere, but a very nasty, fraction (easy for you to so dismiss if you are not personally effected); and it’s worse than the official figures suggest. Just try talking to the people the haters want out, there has been a big rise in the casual insult that such people do not belong, that they should leave; people are feeling unsafe in a way they haven’t before. The first time my daughter was on the receiving end of such poison was the morning after the result, it was from someone coming into the council office she works in to pick up his housing benefit.
It’s absurd to blame the media for this, (elements of) it are just part of the poisonous picture; but even if it was solely the media, so what? It is Brexit that has allowed the media (or what/whoever) to do it, it is a necessary condition, without Brexit this would not be happening.
The rise in hate crimes is not a mere, but a very nasty, fraction (easy for you to so dismiss if you are not personally effected); and it’s worse than the official figures suggest. Just try talking to the people the haters want out, there has been a big rise in the casual insult that such people do not belong, that they should leave; people are feeling unsafe in a way they haven’t before. The first time my daughter was on the receiving end of such poison was the morning after the result, it was from someone coming into the council office she works in to pick up his housing benefit.
It’s absurd to blame the media for this, (elements of) it are just part of the poisonous picture; but even if it was solely the media, so what? It is Brexit that has allowed the media (or what/whoever) to do it, it is a necessary condition, without Brexit this would not be happening.
The people, in a referendum, to endorse or not the outcome of the negotiations will have to decide it.
Until the negotiations are concluded they are in no position to decide.
But the negotiations are not going well...
Its never over until its over...
And its never too late to change your mind.
As a Celt, I find it ironic that this rather petulant attempt to make the rest of the world see that England is as important and special as it believes itself to be, could result in the eventual emergence of a Celtic Confederation that will see Ireland eventually united and, possibly, in some form of amalgamation with Scotland, and even Wales! Then, the Angles can really make whoopee, or whatever other fetishist behaviour that turns on the residual locals, while the rest of us get on with being part of planet Earth
It is an 'inside job',the result of an ignorant gang and poor leadership.
It is the same kind in both UK and Greece,different tribe maybe, of populists who thought that a referendum is some kind of a child's play..But next day found them at the table negotiating with 27 Adults.Ha!
And of course there was no plan B -let alone plan A!!- no engineering escape...
Who cares if Putin or Trump back UK? It is a EU,not a NATO affair. And let me remind you who supported the Greek 'No': Maduro!!!
Look what is happening to Venezuela.This would have been Greece's future outside Euro... But this deal is only half,or maybe a big part of the equation...There would be more,much more to deal with,e.g.
-What's the future of the Erasmus programmes?
-What would be the future of the small Universities? Would they be offering all inclusive courses?! Pay for an undergraduate degree and get a postgraduate Free? or if you bring along a family member you get 50% discount and free meals!??
And Herr Hofmann,free movement is and would be an issue for your adopted country.
We've just spend a long weekend traveling around Central Europe,crossing borders without even having to change currencies..
And it was a fun adventure,quite the opposite of the adventure that this country is having now..
I would use the words of another American President,who said 'There is nothing new in the world except the history you do not know'...
I just hope that History would prove me wrong and we would not witness a country,a Kingdom that once was Big Yesterday, to become Normal Today and Small The Day After...
So more Negotiations, Interventions,
Mediations,Exhortations..what about a Compromise?!
Terribly sorry that you will have to show your passport to get from country to country in the future. I often get the sense that, for middle class remoaners, convenience on Long Weekends is what it all comes down to.
We now live in France to the relief of my wife. There is a lot of ignorant comment about the Gilets Jaunes in the UK. This is a protest that was precipitated by yet another attack on the 'contrat sociale' that has given France one of the most generous social security and pension systems in Europe. Macron cut taxes to the rich by several billion euros and was putting unprogressive taxes up, which would hit the poorer citizens heavily, under a cloak of environmental clap-trap. He was/is cutting teachers in secondary schools to supposedly put more teachers into primary (and save money - they are paid less), but without any coherent argument. The Grand Debat is pure fakery, and the GJs know it - everyone knows it. He has made the Assemblee Nationale (Parliament) even less relevant - he is not far off being and acting like a dictator. However they started out, the GJs have become a 'get rid of Macron' movement. Certainly the extreme right has attempted to take over, and the left has tried to distance themselves, but it remains to be seen how it will turn out. It is not really a manifestation of populism, or only in the sense that it is more like an insurgence, an insurrection - a palish manifestation of all those in 19C Paris, except it began and continues provincially. Let's face it, there is no social contract left in the UK or the USA for any equivalent to the GJs to defend!
A final positive note for Macron: By decree (which has to be eventually confirmed in the AN) he has made a law that maintains the current
rights of UK citizens, as EU citizens, in France in the case of a no-deal - it is time limited, and depends on the UK eventually offering the same to French (indeed all EU) citizens in the UK. It is to the Tory party's shame that the same offer (in case of no-deal) has yet to be made. Will it be a second 'Windrush'?
I live in Manchester and I can tell you that a Londoner moving here would experience no sense of dislocation on the grounds of cultural/ethnic variety.
As for France, it shouldn't be necessary to say this but surely the existence and success of a party like the Front National points to a less than rosy picture there? Every country in Europe has its share of boneheaded racists and I see no reason to make out that the UK/England is special in this respect. Unless of course you believe that all the millions who voted to leave the EU were principally motivated to do so by hatred of foreigners.
I live in Manchester and I can tell you that a Londoner moving here would experience no sense of dislocation on the grounds of cultural/ethnic variety.
As for France, it shouldn't be necessary to say this but surely the existence and success of a party like the Front National points to a less than rosy picture there? Every country in Europe has its share of boneheaded racists and I see no reason to make out that the UK/England is special in this respect. Unless of course you believe that all the millions who voted to leave the EU were principally motivated to do so by hatred of foreigners.
Let us not forget that UKIP picked up 4m votes once. Le Pen is a blot, but apart from distorting the Presidential has gained little ground in terms of representatives in spite of PR - so far. I agree it is stain on the country. I know some people who voted Le Pen, and they really don't have any real explanation when challenged. Xenophobia is not one of reasons, though some are probably racist, which often hails back to the Algerian war.
Let us not forget that UKIP picked up 4m votes once. Le Pen is a blot, but apart from distorting the Presidential has gained little ground in terms of representatives in spite of PR - so far. I agree it is stain on the country. I know some people who voted Le Pen, and they really don't have any real explanation when challenged. Xenophobia is not one of reasons, though some are probably racist, which often hails back to the Algerian war.
Never mind the fact that a significant number of UK citizens have not experienced economic improvement under the EU; many of them quite the reverse. So the economic (neo-liberal) argument is flawed.
And Solidarity? Ask the Italians or the Greeks or the Hungarians what they think of that!
Peace? We’re not leaving NATO are we?
Regionalism? Yes, well, very persuasive. I don’t know about you but I don’t feel very European. I must be thick.
I am looking forward to the adventure of Brexit. At least our future fortunes will be as a result of our own politicians trying (and perhaps failing) to do the best for their own country. I would not rely on Messrs Barnier or Junker doing anything exclusively in the UK’s interest.
Through these three years of blind hysteria, I don't think I've read a single defence of the EU that wasn't (1) utterly condescending and reactionary and (2) suffused with this capitalist, globalist ideology: anything that increases GDP is good and anything that threatens to reduce it (even in the short-term) warrants violent frothing at the mouth.
Money isn't everything. And ecological problems will only be solved by the world as a whole, not coalitions of continents. The EU will be able to achieve as much without us.
The Tories can be held account for the pitiful state of our country, it isn't inherent to Britain that we need to be saved from ourselves. One other interesting point, by the way. Popular opinion (heavily influenced by a right-wing media) is apparently sufficient to write off our socialist opposition -- leaving us no option but to retreat to the comfortable restraints of our superiors in Brussels/Frankfurt. Yet popular opinion is anything but sacrosanct when it takes the form of a referendum result. Perhaps if you fans of globalism unleashed your rabid energy on the Conservative party, we might not be in such an awful situation? Labour also stands for freedom and peace, you know.
Actually, I don't know what Labour stands for these days. I think It did once stand for freedom and peace and a lot more, but then Blair came on the scene. And now it is a mess.
We don't know the ruling caste in Europe - the unelected, unaccountable commissioners, the fig leaf parliamentarians, the anonymous institutions with acronyms are resonant of Orwell.
As one of my kids observed - "I can put a brick through my MP's window. I know where he lives. I've no idea who my MEP is, what he or she does, or how they can claim to represent me."
Most who voted for Brexit just want a simple EEC type trade deal with whoever want to do business with us. As to the politics and the domestic regulation, we'd rather deal with our bastards than everyone else's.