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1-800-mossad

Nicola Perugini

In a cafe in Ramallah recently, an interesting page in Arabic popped up on my computer while I was reading the news. 'The chance of your life', it said. There were scrolling photomontages of a man with an earpiece, an intelligence room, an aerial picture of a targeted assassination; wads of dollars; a handshake, between two piles of passports; a man wearing a hoodie, his face obscured, in a virtual tunnel of binary numbers. I carried on reading:

Do you have any information? We can help you!

[Call] 1-800-800-319

Who We Are

Our responsibility towards the two peoples [Israelis and Palestinians] is to preserve security and safety. We want to ensure a life of dignity and freedom for all.

Our goal is to fight all forms of terrorism and violence, and to promote peace. We have considerable capabilities, most importantly our human resources.

What We Request

You have the chance to earn a lot of money if you will provide us with information about:

1. Terrorist activities
2. Tunnels under borders
3. Planned attacks
4. Hostages and missing people

I called the 1-800 number, only to get a message in Hebrew telling me I had reached voicemail. Is Mossad slipping or am I missing something?


Comments


  • 6 July 2015 at 9:24am
    Geoff Roberts says:
    You'll be in their files now if you weren't already. My take is that some bright young member thought it would be a good way to trawl for suspicious persons. In terrorspeak, 'suspicious' means anybody who utters criticism of Israel's policies and who is therefore (sic) an extremist - and we all know how dangerous extremists are.

    • 12 July 2015 at 2:07pm
      Pennywhistler says: @ Geoff Roberts
      "‘suspicious’ means anybody who utters criticism of Israel’s policies "

      Uh, no.
      1. Terrorist activities
      2. Tunnels under borders
      3. Planned attacks
      4. Hostages and missing people

      You don't tunnel under the border as a statement of criticism.

    • 15 July 2015 at 5:29pm
      philrahn says: @ Pennywhistler
      Maybe if you were blockaded for, oh, how many years now?