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Mama Gets Nasty

John Lanchester

It's fair to say that almost everybody spends at least part of the day wondering what would be the result of a football match between a professional team and a hundred primary school children. Thanks to the internet, we need speculate no longer. The evidence is now in. The J-league team Cerezu Osaka can be seen here playing 100 schoolboys. The Metafilter link takes you to the goals but it's also worth seeing the moment at 4:50 when the two teams come out.

I don't want to give away the result, but among the various points of interest is the extravagant way the professionals celebrate when they score against the children. Also, it turns out that it's quite hard to defend a corner kick when there are sixty opponents in the penalty area, even if they are all at least two feet shorter than you.

In other sports-related news, Margaret Atwood offers advice about how to be a hockey goalkeeper. As she says herself, 'I don’t like to hot dog, but if the puck carrier is really doing a number on it, then mama can get nasty.'