The Gospel According to Tony
Glen Newey · Blair's Millions
And the Lord spake unto his good and faithful servant, saying, Thou art my son, in whom I am well pleased. And though there be some that pretend to adore Mammon through God; yet others cherish God, by the offices of Mammon.
Thou knowest well, my son, many there are that give by taking; and their name is Legion.
But twice blessed are they that take, by giving.
The whoremongers have scourged the righteous with kisses; but thou hast loved the children of the whore of Babylon, with fire from the heavens and the temper of thy sword.
Thou hast plucked out the heart of Mesopotamia, even from the Tigris to the Euphrates. Thou hast kindled fear with the banners of the Lord of Hosts and stricken thine enemies with the fear of the wrath of thy love.
Blessed therefore be the warmakers, for they shall be received into the bosom of the Church; their speech will be recompensed with gold; they shall be called the brokers of peace.
Blessed too are they who hide their bushel under the light of their tax-deductible charitable gift. For they shall see in their flesh, that they dwell among the elect, and their legacy shall grow tenfold. Verily, it shall grow an hundredfold.
And His servant answered Him, saying, I am ready to meet Thee, and to answer for all that I have done. And the Lord was with Tony, and he was a lucky fellow, all the days of his life.